Friday, September 25, 2009, 8:36 AM – 9:36 AM
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Yesterday, I was doodling around in one of my notebooks, waiting for my turn (I do that a lot, both the doodling and waiting). I would come up with ideas for completely new games and write them down, or simply work on old ideas, or work on the plan for AI Wars. But then the thought came to me (I was feeling rather sensitive at the time), what would my perfect woman be like? So I wrote it down:
My Perfect Girl
Appearance
- Paler skin - I hate it when people intentionally suntan themselves.
- Widow's peak - I don't know why I like this. (Very hard to find)
- Brown hair - I could also go with dirty blond or red-brown. I don't like over-shiny or coal black.
- Wavy hair - No board-straight, can't stand small curls.
- Very light freckles - I don't know why I like this. The thing is, I don't really like skin all one color. But I hate so-called "beauty marks", if they're intentionally put on. I also don't like it when it's overly obvious that someone's wearing makeup to try to change the color of her skin.
- Eyebrows "thinner" - Not bushy, but not too thin. No "line" eyebrows.
- Longer eyelashes - Most guys like this for some reason. I am no exception.
- NOT muscular - Staying fit shouldn't mean weightlifting or kick boxing
- My height or shorter - Picky, I know, but I don't like much of a height difference. I don't want her to be taller than I am (5'10"). Cruel to some people, I understand, but it's just the way I am.
- Not fat - Not fat, but not pencil-skinny, either. I don't want my girl to be heavier than me (145 lbs); I want to be able to pick her up and hold her in my arms.
- Higher than low voice - What I mean is, I find women with unusually low voices to be a bit annoying. No offense intended, it's just that certain voices get on my nerves.
Personality
- Not forceful, loud, or mean.
- Kind, gentle, but not whiny or wussy. I don't want a girl who gets upset about spiders, or so emotional that she cries constantly. It's okay if she cries sometimes. In fact, it'd give me a chance to "come to the rescue". You know, the damsel in distress thing. She just shouldn't go to pieces so much that I feel like I should stop a movie just to comfort her.
- I want someone I can spend my life with. There it is - I'm looking for love, not sex.
- I want someone who is forgiving and tolerant, but not so much that she won't talk if there's a real problem.
- I want someone who likes what I like.
- I want someone who will congratulate me when I do well, and mean it. Someone who would make me feel good about myself.
- I want someone I can hold - not for constant sex, but to simply be close to. I want someone with whom I can snuggle and cuddle.
- I want someone who likes jewelery, but not so much that they'll expect me to get it for them - that way I can surprise them with it.
- I want someone who has hobbies other than those I have, and will enjoy teaching me about them.
- I want someone I can grow old with. A woman is always beautiful - no matter how old she gets - if she has a beautiful personality. Personality comes first. But not all people remain civil as they age.
- I want someone who is not vain, but would fix herself up, just for me.
- I want someone who isn't manipulative, who wouldn't lie, tease (tantalize especially by arousing desire or curiosity without intending to satisfy it - Merriam Webster) or cheat. I want someone I can trust.
- I want someone who doesn't have a pronounced accent.
- I want someone who isn't stupid, by which I mean no low IQ.
- I want someone who can love me for who I am, and not try to change me - or if they do, then only if I want to change.
- I want someone I can compromise with, and not have them expect to have it their way all the time, but not someone who will try to leave all the decisions to me. (Not "whatever you pick is fine with me", for example.)
- I want someone who is tough in tight places; who won't panic in emergencies; who would always try to do their best.
- I want someone near my age. I have around a 3 year older, 3 year younger tolerance. Anything else bugs me a bit.
- I want someone who cares about me, what I do, and what I like. Someone who isn't self-centered and only likes to talk about themselves. Conversations with them are always one sided. You never get to say anything about yourself.
- I want someone who'll ask about how my day is - but they won't stop there with a "That's cool", they'll ask further, proving they care. Someone who'll take interest in what I do, and not leave the conversation to me when I'm the focus.
- I want someone I can relax with, hold conversations with. I want love.
I’ll probably never find someone with all these qualities. Even Emily lacked some of them. But it’s true. Personality is more important to me than looks, although looks are important too. I’d give personality a 65%, and looks a 35%. If someone could have 80% of the personality traits above, and 40% of the looks, I’d be happy.
All I want is love. What I really, really want is someone to hold, snuggle, and cuddle with. Someone I can trust, love, and care for. Someone I can talk to.
I’ll likely never find someone. What are the chances of it, really? I’m such a picky person. I set out that huge list above, and who would fall into it?
But I loved those little quirks and flaws Emily had. If you love someone, you tolerate – No. You love them for their flaws. It’s their flaws you remember. The way she would talk a little too much, the way she was so shy (at first), the way she bragged occasionally. They made her human. They made her seem so real. She wasn’t perfect, which made her so to me.
I probably wouldn’t like a truly "perfect" girl. Perfection is an imperfection in itself. I’ve never really thought about it, but that’s the way it is. I’ll have to remember that. Imperfections make you lovable. Perfection only makes you likable at best.
Maybe I will find someone. I look forward with great anticipation to that day.
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